It Started Today, May 2 2016
by ellisss3377
Summary: Dear Journal, I'm trying to, you know, start a journal. But that never works out. This is the seventh time I've tried to do this. Well, seven's the charm, right? Anyway, let me introduce myself. My name is James Sirius Potter, son of Harry and Ginny Potter. Oh, and what's a mammogram?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. The one and only JK Rowling does.**

 **a/n DID YOU KNOW that today is the 18th anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts? Voldy died at like, two a.m. this morning. SO cool!**

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Dear Journal,

I'm trying to, you know, start a journal. But that never works out. This is the seventh time I've tried to do this. Well, seven's the charm, right? Anyway, let me introduce myself. My name is James Sirius Potter, son of Harry and Ginny Potter. I'm in my second year, and I have two younger siblings: Albus Severus Potter and Lily Luna Potter. Al (Albus) will join me at Hogwarts next year, he's still ten. Lily's only eight. There's also Teddy, a sort-of cousin of mine. Dad's his godfather, so I'm his god-cousin...?

Anyway, I always catch him snogging Victoire, one of my cousins, in the most unusual places. In an empty compartment on the Hogwarts Express, under the tree by the lake, in the kitchens (I was hungry, okay? I didn't _mean_ to walk in on them full-on snogging!), you get my point. I think they've been going out since their fourth and fifth year (fourth for Victoire and fifth for Teddy). Oh! Also, today's Victoire's 15th birthday. NOTE TO SELF: say happy birthday to Victoire. Then give her that mirror that uncle George gave you for a laugh.

The mirror, that I was talking about up there, is supposed to enlarge your most prominent features. For example, on me, my head. When I look in the mirror, my head blows up. Really weird, if you ask me. For Victoire, it'll probably be her long nose. Well, it's not _that_ long, but pretty long. Just imagine the look on her face, though.

 _OH NO! MY BEAUTIFUL, PERFECT NOSE! WHY, JAMES? WHY?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO._

She is very vain.

Anyway, what now? I'm bored. There's nothing to write about. Everything is the same. Professor Longbottom is quiet (Mum says that it's only because he's a little afraid of us not accepting him. I mean, really? We're only second years! And _you're_ the guy who killed a giant python with a sword, like, eighteen years ago!), Professor Mcgonagall is still strict (and alive. Dad said she was still teaching when _grandpa_ went to school! Grandpa Potter, I mean.), Professor Hagrid is still _super_ nice and ace (and really big. P.S. he still doesn't know that Blast-Ended Skrewts are dangerous. I mean, they can _burn_ you into smithereens!), Professor Flitwick is still really tiny (half-goblin, I heard), Professor Weasly aka Auntie Lina (nee Angelina Johnson) is still... well... Auntie Lina, and so on. Oh, I forgot something again. Today's Fred's birthday! He's turning 16 today. NOTE TO SELF: say happy birthday to your good old mate/cousin, Fred. Give him... oh I don't know! _Something._ A stuffed cow. He's vegetarian, and doesn't like meat. Hasn't since he was eight.

Fred's Auntie Lina and Uncle George's son. His full name is Fred Weasly II, and funny thing... he was born two years and one day after his uncle, Fed Weasly the first, died. Possibly two years and a few hours... Anyway, he has a little sister, too. Her name's Roxanne. She's still only about five years old, an looks a lot like Auntie Lina. Talkative, too. Oh, enough with family. Let's talk about... other stuff. I don't know what, but still. Other stuff...

Come on, I've got to fill this page. Have to. It's my goal. I will, I know, I will... I'm desperate. Oh! I've got an idea! Well, you see, everyone thinks that I'm just all quidditch and pranks, and stuff. But I'm much more. I like writing poetry. It's fun! If you don't believe me, try it out yourself. It's ... calming. Very calming. Much calming. Caaaaaalming.

 _It's the year of 2016,_

 _And the anniversary of a battle,_

 _Not to mention the birthday of one who likes to preen,_

 _And someone who doesn't like cattle._

 _A dark lord was vanquished eighteen years ago,_

 _My father killed him,_

 _And he died, you know,_

 _And times were no longer grim._

 _So here I am,_

 _The son of the hero._

 _Wondering, what the hell is a mammogram,_

 _And every time I ask what it is, the answer I get is zero._

But seriously, what is a mammogram?

* * *

 **Yeah, what is a mammogram?**


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: DISCLAIMER**

 **A/N: I AM ACTUALLY UPDATING TODAY! YAYYYYY!**

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Dear Journal,

I know what a mammogram is. It's... interesting. Much interesting. Very informative.

Mammograms are weird.

Oh, so the birthday gifts were good. They went well. I had a laugh. Victoire got an enlarged nose, and Fred got a cuddly stuffed cow. A cuddly, enlarged with an _engorgio,_ cow. So that it'll be bigger than me, which is wicked cool, if you ask me.

Anyway, to my main point. So, two years ago I found this piece of parchment on Dad's desk that practically had magic radiating off of it. So I took it, and promised to myself that I would find out what the parchment does on a later date. Then I forgot about it. I found it on the bottom of my trunk today while I was packing my trunk. (It's almost the last day of school: it ends on the seventeenth!) So then I started to play around with it. I started to point my wand at it and say silly phrases like _open sesame_ and _I command you to show me yourself_. Well, after I said _James Sirius Potter, son of Harry James Potter and student of Hogwart school of witchcraft and wizardry, commands you to yield the information you conceal!_ writing started to show up on the parchment.

 _Mooney presents his compliments to James Sirius Potter, and begs him to keep his abnormally large head out of other people's business._

 _Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony and would like to add that James Potter is a HB. As in a Humongous Bighead._

 _Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an bighead like that ever could be a student in Hogwarts and not fail_ _._

 _Mr. Wormtail bids James Sirius Potter good day, and advises him to deflate his head, for the sake of all the other students at Hogwarts._

Ouch. I just got insulted by a piece of paper.

Then I replied with a _Well messrs Moony, Prongs, Padfoot, and Wormtail. I apologize for sticking my HB into your business. Besides, I like your insults. Can you teach me some?_

I'm pretty sure that all the paper can do isn't just insult people. Plus, if you can't get what you want immediately, you may have to sweet-talk your way to it.

 _Messer Prongs is flattered. But not ignorant. What does messr Potter wish for?_

 _I would like to understand what you hide, Messrs.._

 _Messer Padfoot asks why messer Potter still wants to converse with us, though us messers have already insulted him._

 _Well, Padfoot, I really want to know what you hide._

 _Mess- oh for goodness sake. Moony wants to inform Potter that all he has to say is_ I solemnly swear I am up to no good _to gain access, and say_ mischief managed _to hide us from prying eyes._

 _MOONY!_ The whole parchment seemed to shake from the other messer's outbursts.

 _Thank you Moony. I solemnly swear I am up to no good._

And then, the piece of parchment started to transform. Into a map! A map of Hogwarts, I mean. Then, I noticed the little specks of ink moving on the map. After closer inspection, I realized that the little specks were actually footprints. The footprints of the people in Hogwarts! Under their footprints were their names. So, I could see where everybody was at that very moment! It was bloody brilliant. Why would Dad hide the map from me? Or Al and Lily? Like I said before, it was-is bloody brilliant.

 _Today I found a map_

 _And four messers too_

 _I can now use it with a tap_

 _But I couldn't until I got the clue_

* * *

 **So a mammogram is actually, according to the merredian-webster online dictionary,**

 **medical : a photograph of a woman's breasts made by X-rays**

 **I really didn't know! But now I do, so it's sort of awkward.**

 **So, goodbye!**


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: DISCLAIMER**

 **A/N: UPDATE! :D**

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Dear Journal,

I should really give you a name. I mean, Journal sounds a bit... boring. I'll think about it later. Anyway...

IT'S SUMMER! WHOO!

Buuuut... no magic allowed outside of school. I can't contact the marauders anymore... right? I mean, you need to say 'I solemnly swear I am up to no good' while pointing your wand at it, right? So is that underage magic? I don't think so...

I still haven't told Dad about taking the map out of his desk, and I hope I never will have to. He might get a little angry. Dad rarely gets angry. So, until it is _completely_ necessary, Padfoot, Moony, Wormtail, and Prongs will stay with me.

It's a real bummer that I can't use my wand over the break, since I learned these ace jinxes in this book Uncle George lent me. Forgot what it was called, though. But, it has these spells that will turn people's hair bright red (WHOO! GRYFFINDOR SPIRIT) and fork their tongues. There's also another spell that will make you molt raven feathers, and constantly crave honey. Pretty much just house spirit books. Uncle George told me that he was thinking of publishing a book filled with fun house-spirited spells for Hogwarts students. Wait... I think he gave me the preview, then. Huh.

Summer's so boring now. Yeah, I know that summer should be fun, but would you call summer interesting if you were stuck in a house without being able to do magic? Oh, wait, that's what muggles do. Poor muggles. Al and Lily aren't all that interesting. Al just wants to know everything about Hogwarts, since he's going to Hogwarts in two years (or something like that). Lily does my every bidding, even though I don't want her to. She's a bit annoying. Maybe she'll grow out of it by next year. I personally think that she should hang out with our cousin Rose some more, since Rose is fiercely independent, for a 9 year old. Maybe she'll rub off on Lily, and Lily'll become more independent. Or maybe she'll get more clingy, and she'll rub off on Rose? I don't know, just as long as she doesn't annoy me that much.

And here's the poem of the... um... month?

 _Sick of no magic_

 _Need to do magic so much_

 _So pretty please help me_

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 **Hi! I updated! Did you like my magic Haiku? I'm sort of bad with poetry, but I should always be optimistic. Thank you, _daughterofartubis,_ for reviewing my fanfic! And, I also liked your poem, I think it's better than some of my works. WHOO! UPDATED CHAPTER! Bye!**


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